Venice Biennale Blog
Extinct ‘elephant bird’ egg seized at Italian customs
Just when you think everything is under control, customs comes in and takes away your unprocessed dead animal. When I was working with my assistant Lise Battaglia her friend told us, that an artist she knows is installing a huge installation in Paris and the whole project is stymied because they won’t let him in the country with wood and the entire project is made of wood. But here’s the kicker. If he pays them $40,000 they will WAVE the LAW. Huh. Seriously? No, SERIOUSLY. So scary…anyway….so I thought I’d better check and see what I can and cannot make my piece out of. Here are my 10 favorite things you CANNOT make art out of and ship into Italy.
MY TOP 10 FAVORITE THINGS YOU CANNOT SHIP TO ITALY
1.
“Rubber erasers that are similar in appearance to food products that are
easily ingested” (wonder who is going to ‘digest’ that in my wooden crate)
2.
“Medical thermometers containing mercury intended for human consumption”
(Yummmmm! Medical thermometers are so delicious!)
3.
“All products containing the biocide dimethylfumarate” (oh yeah, gotta throw out all my BIOCIDE DIMETHYLFUMARATE – Bummer.)
4.
“Food Supplements/Additives & Vitamins that contains Stevia” (eeewwwwww, STEVIA, sooo scary!)
5.
“Pornographic and/or obscene material” (So, what exactly would constitute as ‘obscene’?)
6.
“Processed or unprocessed dead animals, including insects and pets.” (So, let me get this straight. I cannot bring my unprocessed dead pet into the country…so where in the world am I supposed to put him!!!).
7.
“Packages that are wet, leaking or emit an odor of any kind.” (I do not want to EVER visit the planet that the people who have actually crated and shipped this kind of stuff inhabit, EVER.).
8.
“An EU-wide ban has been placed on the commercial import of all Seals, Walruses and Sea Lion products. (YES, I get this, but I haven’t seen one of these on the Upper West Side, well…no, definitely not.).
9.
“Human corpses, human organs or body parts, human and animal embryos, or cremated or disinterred human remains.” (Seriously….I mean, ick….and it’s so, well, specific!….which means of course, IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE…..)
10
(O.K., now I find this a bit horrifying, in that, well, you actually CAN ship explosives to the FedEx Express (EXPRESS?!?!?!?) ….just in case you are worried you might run out while in the UAE please note the caveat.)
“Explosives (Class 1.4 explosives are acceptable for carriage to Canada, Germany, France, Japan, United Arab Emirates and United Kingdom. Note: United Arab Emirates only allows Class 1.4 explosives to be shipped hold-for-pickup to the FedEx Express facility in Dubai).”
Homeland Security Dog, (U.S.A.), keeps us all safe by finding the terrorist potatoes!
So then……….
I phoned FedEx and they told me my 10 foot long 30” wide crate would cost $6783.43 one way. Luckily, when confronted with insanity, I have an uncanny ability to remain calm. Little things, like, my apartment manager telling me my air conditioner is leaking will throw me into spasms + waste my entire day. Anyway….so I finally got them down to $3500 round trip but I had to make the crate 4.5 feet – long story short….I’m thinking of taking it in suitcases in parts on Delta. Delta was perfectly happy about this, taking my money that is – thing is – I will have them with me, they will arrive with me which is superb except for one minor thing. All my friends said, “Well, make sure the team at Swatch picks you up at the airport in Venice.” RIGHT. Hmmm….Yup, I’ll have them drive their van to the airport and pick me up with 10 huge heavy suitcases and drive me to my little cute cottage with the 42 foot long installation. Perfect!…. Except for one thing….VENICE IS SURROUNDED BY CANALS!!!!!!!! OMG – and no….I HAVE NOT figured out how to deal with THAT yet….. :-) :-) :-)
Please help this work get from New York to Venice! YOU ROCK!!!! Thank You!
indiegogo site: http://igg.me/at/JennyKrasner
Ruti Alon
Lise Battaglia
Claudia Blaesi
Rand Carter
John B. Carver
Miriam Carver
Susan + Charles Bisom-Rapp
Lynette Chiang
Marsha R. Dowler
Alex Freeman
Rebecca Haidt
Shannon H Curry Hartmann
J. Walter Hawkes
Kylie Heidenheimer
Amy Hersh
Joanna Krasner
LadyMccradynyc
Cathleen A. McGuire
Matthew Rose
Peter Rossbach
Dan Rubock
Mark J. Seski
Nandita Shenoy
Robert L. Thuemmel
Ursula Wall
Anne C. Whitehouse
Matt Wrbican
Wang Xin
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